


Bounty

by TammyCat



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Contract killing, M/M, Miscommunication, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 19:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2594228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TammyCat/pseuds/TammyCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's perfectly acceptable to accept a contract on your lover after you've had a fight, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bounty

**Author's Note:**

> My first posted Spideypool fic. I have a few in the bank but this was the first finished.

The type of person that collected in the back room of this exclusive club had few things in common; they were bad guys, they liked money and power, and they hated superheroes.

The villains gathered around one particular table in the dim lights shared a hatred of one specific superhero. Spider-Man.

“Plans down on the table.” Dr. Octavius said. “Who has a way to take out Spider-Man?”

Venom’s exaggerated smiled grew, his clawed hand inching across the tabletop.

“Something new preferably.” Octavius added.

The symbiote growled and hunched in his seat.

Eyes flicked between each other searching for a hint of hope to bring down their mutual nemesis. They had all taken on the irritating hero, some had even come close to killing the man, but in the end they had all failed.

Mr. Negative pressed his hands to the smooth wood. “Perhaps we should revisit an older plan.”

“Which would you like to use? Everything we have tried has been useless.” Mysterio replied. “Collaborating hasn’t proved successful either.”

Octavius sneered at the reminder of his ‘Sinister Six’. “There is a way to get rid of Spider-Man, we just haven’t found the right formula yet.”

A man most of them ignored stumbled up to the table pulled along by Kraven.

“Kraven, you’re late. We’ve already started the meeting. Who is this?” Mr. Negative asked placidly.

The hunter pushed the man forward. “Tell them what you said.”

The man, slightly built with light brown hair stared at the group of villains. “I-uh, I hired someone to kill Spider-Man.”

Octavius steepled his fingers, his robotic arms twitching behind him. “And who accepted the bounty?”

The man swallowed convulsively.

Kraven shoved at his shoulder, a dark grin on his face. “Tell.”

“D-deadpool.”

There was a moment of silence before the entire table erupted in laughter. It took close to two minutes for the noise to die down.

“You know how to tell a good joke.” Electro said once they’d calmed.

“It’s true.” The man exclaimed defensively.

“Although he is a good choice and one of the best mercenaries in the world, everyone knows that Deadpool has a soft spot for Spider-Man. He imagines that they are friends.” Octavius replied. “He would never take a contract on Spider-Man.”

The man frowned. “Maybe they had a falling out because he took the job.”

That caught the attention of villains.

 

 

Peter was relaxing on his couch when he felt the familiar tingle of his Spidey-Sense. It was faint but definitely there.

He closed his eyes and focused his attention on his surroundings. The feeling wasn’t passing so Peter could safely deduce that the threat wasn’t merely moving through his area. There was no sound but that didn’t mean anything, more than one of his enemies were capable of being quiet.

The difference was that none of his enemies knew where he lived, which left him with just one person.

“Wade, what are you doing?”

The red and black suited man stepped out of the shadows to his left. “I’ve got a contract to take you out.”

“Again? Well that explains the knife.” Peter closed his book and twisted around. “Just because we had a fight doesn’t mean you have to kill me.”

The merc had come to kill him three times now; he’d clearly never gone through with it. The first time had been close though.

The large blade glinted. “It’s poetic to kill your ex-lover.”

Peter frowned. “It’s not and I wasn’t aware we had broken up. Besides, I think that only works for Shakespeare. The poetry of it would be if you died as well.”

“Maybe I will.” Deadpool huffed.

Peter raised a brow. “Right. Why don’t you put the knife down and come sit with me?”

The red masked head shook. “Not this time, baby boy. I’ve got a pay day waiting for me. All I need is your head.”

He shrugged, feigning boredom as his muscles tensed to dart away. Wade was dangerous on a good day. “Shame, I’m so much better when my head is attached to my body. I thought you liked it like that too.”

Deadpool’s expression darkened. “You’re the one who kicked me out.”

Peter stared at the man. He was kidding, right? That’s what this was about? A two week sulk and threatening to cut off his head had come from a minor altercation at Stark Industries?

“I told you to get out of the lab because I was in the middle of a time critical, delicate experiment that required all of my attention. It didn’t mean I wanted to break up with you, dumbass.”

“What?”

Peter smirked. “Telling you to leave me alone when I’m working isn’t a break up, and you don’t have to kill your exes…although that does explain why none of them have shown up to warn me.”

Wade glared at him and Peter suspected his resolve was wilting, not that the merc had been serious about killing him. He hoped.

Peter stood and stretched out slowly, letting his back arch into a ridiculous arc he knew turned Wade on. He rolled forward again and walked towards his bedroom.

“Where do you think you’re going? This isn’t over.”

He was gratified to hear Wade’s voice had dropped an octave.

Peeking over his shoulder, Peter replied. “Oh, well since you thought we’d broken up I was thinking we could have some make up sex.”

A heavy silence filled the room and Peter could just about hear Wade’s boxes arguing. He pulled his shirt over his head in the hope of swaying their votes in his favour.

“You think that will save you?” Wade’s voice was strained.

Peter rested his back against the doorframe and slowly unbuttoned his jeans. “It might. I’ll leave it up to you. Kill me or fuck me, I won’t fight you.”

Not necessarily true but it seemed to have the desired effect of ruffling Wade’s feathers.

He slipped into the dark room, shimmied out of his pants and threw them back into the living room.

“Come and get me, Wade.”

Peter was rewarded with the sound of the knife thumping onto the rug.

 

 

Deadpool strolled into the dimly lit club, his stride easy and casual despite the hessian bag dripping blood onto the floor. He could have used a material that was less messy but he liked the effect of throwing wet hessian at people.

His title as an anti-hero and his reputation as a mercenary allowed him access to this back area, his newly developed although still questionable morals made visits rare.

He made his way to the usual table of Spidey haters, it wasn’t one he frequented. His relationship with the deliciously flexible hero made it awkward to say the least.

The regular collection of douchebags surrounded the table, Dr. Octopus, Mr Negative, Sandman, Electro, Venom (who was drooling on the table), Mysterio and Kraven.

They looked up as one as Deadpool dropped the blood soaked bag onto the table. Little flecks of blood splattered onto the table’s occupants.

Attention dropped to the bloody bag before returning to Deadpool. Sandman was the first to recover.

“Ya actually did it?”

Doc Ock jerked backwards. “You killed Spider-Man?”

Deadpool slashed the bag open and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the men/mutants. “Consider this a warning.”

He turned and strode out of the room, leaving the table to stare at the severed head of the man who’d contracted Deadpool.

_{We are so badass.}_

**< Let’s go home. Spidey’s making nachos.>**


End file.
